Two Cent Review: Neon White

When I first saw Neon White, I was almost in disbelief. Wedged in the middle of a Nintendo Direct back in February of 2021, Neon White’s reveal trailer showed off a stylistic version of heaven where sinners compete to win a spot in heaven. Featuring Machine Girl’s signature breakbeat music, flashy card-flippin, gun flingin’ gameplay, and a well-dressed main character voiced by Steve Blum, the game had my attention almost right away. 

Now that it’s out, Neon White may well become my game of the year. That is to say: Neon White is fucking amazing.

It’s almost unreal to think of how I felt about Neon White upon starting the game versus where I stand now. Because as excited as I was for Neon White initially, the game hardly received any sort of media coverage prior to its release. Generally when games get announced by big companies before subsequently being shoved out the door one day with no marketing behind it, I get worried. Worried that a game may not be as great as its announcement would have you believe. Or worse… completely devoid of promised features. 

Luckily that wasn’t the case here. Any anxieties I had about Neon White being yet another indie attempting to stand out faded once I saw that introductory cutscene. As a lifelong fan of anime, I can’t help but turn my attention to any well animated, tightly crafted intro sequence. Shortly afterward, I was plunged (quite literally I might add) into a story I was not at all prepared for. 

One full of colorful characters who are fantastically voiced and a complete joy to be around, save for some anime tropes I could do without. Each character in Neon White has their own unique quirks, speech patterns, motives, and more for you to become accustomed to. Whether that’s for better or for worse is entirely up to you. 

Whatever your opinion may be, know that Neon White has all sorts of fantastic twists and turns in store for you over the course of its roughly 10 hour run time. Well, roughly ten 10 hours if you just go for the end credits. Going for the game’s “true” ending could easily double your playtime. 

This would be an issue in most games, especially for people who have limited time to play games in the first place. Thankfully Neon White offers up some of the best gameplay I’ve experienced in a long time, and it does it while respecting your time. I’m certain anyone who gives it a chance will say the same. 

Neon White is a speedrunner’s next best friend and also their next short-term arch nemesis. It earns the best friend title thanks to this game’s obvious focus on speedrunning and pinpoint accuracy. It then proceeds to become an enemy after you realize that Neon White feels so good to play, you’re likely to eat the whole thing up in a week. 

What I think amazes me most about the entire thing is how these two aforementioned relationships come as a result of a gameplay loop that really shouldn’t work as well as it does. On paper, the idea of a graphic novel first person shooter with short levels that can be completed in a variety of ways using cards that are actually guns that can be discarded for increased mobility options seems like something that shouldn’t work. Upon execution however, it becomes apparent that these systems have been finely tuned to perfectly compliment and coexist with one another. 

Going into Neon White, my biggest worry was that the core gameplay would be too convoluted to keep my interest. Either that or it would be too complicated for many people to even bother with it. Thankfully the devs struck a great balance between card variety and limitation so as to not overwhelm the player. 

And if Neon White’s story and gameplay were the gifts under a hypothetical summertime Christmas tree, then Machine Girl’s fantastic score would be the paper used to wrap these goods. This soundtrack features two album’s worth of breakbeat after breakbeat, all of which feel right at home alongside everything else in Neon White. Since my time with Neon White, I’ve routinely found myself revisiting the soundtrack both while working at home and while driving around in my car. If nothing else has sold you on the game yet, I sincerely hope this single paragraph does. The music is THAT good.

All together, I think all of this makes for a truly memorable and one of a kind experience. It’s rare that such a near flawless gem plops on out of the mines that are the current gaming space, but Neon White is an exception. A finely crafted game with hardly anything worth complaining about is something that’s become much less frequent in gaming. Thankfully Neon White came along to rekindle my optimism for what sorts of new and exciting games we can expect from developers moving forward. 

If there’s one game you check out this year, make sure it’s Elden Ring. But after that, consider giving Neon White a go. If anything I’ve said in this review has even remotely spiked your interest in the game, then I have the utmost confidence that you’ll enjoy your time with it. Just… remember to take breaks if you decide to go for 100% completion. Your thumbs will thank you. 

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6 Indies Like Pokemon

Pokemon has always been one of those series I’ve given credit to for starting my love of video games. The idea of going your own way in a grand world, making friends with the creatures you meet along the way, has always been appealing to me. Beyond that, the completionist whom I share this fleshy prison with also happens to love Pokemon for its focus on “catching ‘em all”. Combine all of this together and it’s easy to see why millions of people around the world love this series.

So with Pokemon’s 9th generation on the way, I thought I’d take a moment to highlight six indie games with creature collecting mechanics. There’s a range of goods here, and I’m all but certain they’ll keep you busy until Pokemon Scarlet and Pokemon Violet arrive (hopefully) in late 2022. 

1. Temtem

Temtem is an MMO that melds the social features of online games with the addictive nature of creature collecting. Sporting a distinct art direction and creature designs that hit a wide range of archetypes, Temtem excels at visual distinction. Beyond its replication of the tried and true creature collection formula, Temtem also stands on its own as an enjoyable social experience. Staples of the MMO genre can also be found in troves, such as player housing, guilds, co-op, and competitive play. Temtem is definitely a one of a kind take on the creature collecting formula, and one to consider if you’re a Pokemon fan.

2. Monster Crown

Monster Crown is a creature collecting adventure that pays homage to the GameBoy era of Pokemon games. I admittedly haven’t spent as much time as I would have liked to with Monster Crown, but from what I’ve played, the game feels like a more mature Pokemon. Specifically when it comes to the dialogue in Monster Crown, which is much more grim in its subject matter (people even say bad words). It also has a free-for-all breeding mechanic, meaning you can slap any pixel thing you’d like with another pixel thing and end up with a wide range of hybrid-pixel-things. 

Just don’t go pointing the blame at me when PETA comes knocking at your door. 

3. Nexomon: Extinction

Nexomon: Extinction is the follow up to a mobile take on the Pokemon formula. Now before you go booing this one, just know it doesn’t commit the same sins as its father. Instead, this sequel to 2017’s Nexomon released as a full-fledged console drop. With a distinct chibi style, and over 300 Nexomon for you to collect, there’s plenty on offer here for you to sink your gamer-teeth into. What really helps Nexomon: Extinction stand out from its contemporaries though is its focus on difficulty and player choice. The game scales with you, meaning you’ll never outlevel or easily outpace wild creatures levels. In addition, you aren’t necessarily gated into one path of progression, meaning you are more than welcome in whichever direction you’d like. Nexomon: Extinction is one of the lesser known creature collection indies, but it’s also one I’d recommend any Pokemon fan check out.

4. Monster Sanctuary

Monster Sanctuary answers the age-old “what if” of what it’d be like to have a Pokemon game with only 3v3 battles. Featuring a steady difficulty curve and a heavy focus on story, Monster Sanctuary does a lot to stand out from the competition. One particular favorite distinction of mine is the amount of customization you have over your monster’s potential as a fighter. Stat point allocation is a welcome addition to the genre that isn’t seen too often. Add to that Monster Sanctuary’s metroidvania-style gameplay progression (which relies on using specific monsters to reach certain areas) and the uniqueness becomes even more apparent. Trust me when I say that Monster Sanctuary is an indie any fan of Pokemon should consider.

5. Coromon

If you were to ask me which generations of Pokemon resonated with me the most, I’d probably tell you generations two and three. Even though I began with gen one, something about the series’ transition into more color and more detailed sprites solidified my love for it. If that opinion sounds relatable in any way, I strongly suggest you give Coromon a try. This game is easily one of the closest emulations of the Pokemon series I’ve seen, all while managing to stand out in its own way. From customizable avatars to varying difficulty levels, creative creature designs, online battles and more, Coromon has a lot to offer.

6. Slime Rancher

Slime Rancher may not be the first thing to come to mind for many when talking about indie games inspired by Pokemon, but it’s one of the best indie games ever made. Which means I will talk about Slime Rancher any chance I get.

I mean, why shouldn’t I? Few games have managed to mix the creature collecting of Pokemon games with the farm management of Harvest Moon as well as Slime Rancher has. It’s truly a one of a kind experience, where you take on the role of a young rancher in her home away from home. Here you’ll care for a wide range of adorable slimes, all for the sake of profiting off of their poop!

Slime Rancher is a cozy game bursting with charm that any Pokemon fan should consider (and then subsequently buy multiple times because it’s amazing and oh my god, I cannot wait for the sequel to come!).

And there you have it! My list of six indie games worth exploring if you’re a fan of the Pokemon series. Or creature collecting/battling games in general. Pokemon may have started a trend in the 90s and remained a household name even in this day and age, but the genre it cultivated has come a long way. It’s refreshing to see such a wide range of different takes on the formula, as well as all of the tweaks and changes that have been suggested in the process. 

It’ll be exciting to see where the niche (yet astounding successful) creature collecting indie game space goes next!

Two Cent Review: Infernax

Infernax is a game eleven years in the making that sports a gritty, retro feel and a metal chiptune soundtrack. If those words I just said ignited the happy sensors in your brain, then I strongly consider seeing if Infernax is worth your time. 

Here’s my two cents. 

Infernax opens with a brilliantly designed tutorial, introducing you to things like its setting and the basics of combat. Beyond that, this opening section introduces what was easily my favorite aspect of Infernax: choice and consequence. 

Infernax is consistently asking you to make difficult decisions that alter the outcome of events. This extends into the game’s multiple endings as well, which helps encourage repeat playthroughs. I personally felt the endings lacked enough variety to incentivize going for them, which left me feeling undersatified. Repeat playthroughs are mostly here for those who want to one-hundred percent the game.

Or for those invested in Infernax’s world, which is put together with fairly noticeable attention to detail. This may be a love letter to retro classics of yesteryear such as Castlevania II, but its world still feels alive and lived in. Most of this is admittedly due to the choice and consequence nature of Infernax, but the game’s side quests help carry the experience as well.

While certainly nothing groundbreaking, the sheer volume of side questing available in Infernax genuinely surprised me. Now we’re not talking Skyrim levels of questing here, but we are talking about something that could easily increase your playtime by a decent margin. 

These quests are usually worth your time due to the variety and value of their rewards as well. Some may reward you with simple things like gold or XP, but others open up things like new quests or storefronts to purchase gear from. I consistently found myself stopping in each village to talk with everyone during my playthrough, as I was always curious what reward I’d receive next. Be careful doing this though, as some of these actions will lead to unforeseen consequences. 

Now as much as it pains me to admit, this is about all of the good I have to say on my experience with Infernax. But that doesn’t mean it may not appeal to you, so I’d strongly consider hearing me out before making your own call on the game. 

For starters, I want to talk about the topic of trolling the player vs wasting the players time. On the surface, these two things sound like they’re the same, and in many ways they do share overlap. In order to distinguish the two, and to help make my point easier to explain, I’ll bring up this little game that was just released called Elden Ring. 

You may have heard of it.

In Elden Ring, the game consistently, from the opening moments, does all it can to mess with the player’s expectations. Elden Ring then proceeds to maintain this theme throughout its runtime, building upon this philosophy again and again until the credits roll. In this scenario, “trolling the player” works because you, the player, know to expect it and to be ready to combat whatever’s around the corner. 

When looking at Infernax, a game I played immediately after my time with Elden Ring, I couldn’t help but feel slight bitterness. Bitterness at the way my time as a player was disrespected (God that sounds pretentious). 

This became apparent to me upon reaching a specific point in my Infernax quest where I had to do some guesswork in order to proceed. Only the issue here is failure to guess correctly leads to death and a reload at the nearest save point, sometimes resetting ten-plus minutes of progress. 

This wouldn’t be such an issue if I didn’t have to repeat this process numerous times throughout the game. Sadly that wasn’t the case in my experience, as this problem persisted until the credits rolled some six hours later.

There’s no issue with making a challenging game, or even a love letter to a classic title from yesteryear. The issue arises once you get to a point of wasting the players time for no other reason than to waste time or inflate your game’s playtime. 

It does make me wonder if the devs decided on this intentionally. It’s possible they made Infernax this way intentionally for the sake of preserving that “retro feel”. Unfortunately it was a major detractor when it came to enjoying my time with this one, so I felt it was worth mentioning. 

Beyond that, I think I could best describe the rest of Infernax as being inconsistent. The melee combat in this game leaves something to be desired, but the magic is fun as hell to use. The bosses, while unique and fun to look at, are boring to fight and offer little challenge. The world, while sprawling and diverse, rarely gives you any fun or unique platforming sections or enemies to contend with. 

It all ultimately left me feeling unfulfilled in my journey to rid the land of evil. 

While I wish there was more positive praise I could give to Infernax, this one really didn’t do it for me. There are multiple aspects that are appealing, such as it’s art direction, sound design, and focus on choice and consequence. Unfortunately these things don’t deal with much in the realm of core gameplay, which means I was left feeling bummed out during the majority of Infernax. 

If you’re a fan of true to inspiration retro throwbacks and hypotheticals where Undertale meets Castevania, Infernax may be worth your time. However, if you’re more like me and don’t necessarily care to play something that frustrates more than fulfills, maybe consider skipping this one. 

Dodgeball Academia Review

(Dodgeball Academia is available for Nintendo Switch, Microsoft Windows, Xbox Series X|S, Xbox One, and PlayStation 4.)

Growing up, school constantly felt like a battleground. Many mornings were spent in preparation for the numerous attacks that were certain to catch me off-guard during my day. From the bathrooms with their soldiers of swirlies, to the walks home full of twists and turns in a labyrinthine neighborhood, nowhere was safe. On the flipside, there also wasn’t really any place that felt more dangerous either. Unless you found yourself on the dodgeball court.

That wasn’t a battleground, it was a fucking warzone. 

Now imagine how I reacted upon learning that there was a game all about the warm and fuzzy feeling that only a rubber ball to the face could provide. Enter: Dodgeball Academia!

Dodgeball Academia is what you get when you blend a sports game with the look of Gravity Falls, the “trainer” systems from Pokemon, the upgrades and customization of role-playing games, and the story-telling of a Saturday morning cartoon. Visually, it has an easily identifiable style, which is something that modern games are sorely lacking. The character designs especially pop against the 3D rendered background, while the vibrant and complimenting colors help to further bring everything together. These are characters and settings that I could easily see finding a home on a children’s cartoon network like…Cartoon Network.

So all is well and good in the land of initial appearances, but I think a lot of people know that first impressions aren’t always telling of what’s going on on a deeper level. Oftentimes it takes a moment or two for us to begin to understand a motive before we really get down to judgement. This reigns true, even in the world of video games. Case in point: once I began to actually play Dodgeball Academia, I realized that looks truly aren’t everything. The core content wasn’t something I could see myself staying with in the future.

The biggest reason for this was due to Dodgeball Academia’s story. I don’t personally think the plot of the game is bad, but I do think it was a story that didn’t quite mesh with me. The length of the story would wear on me from time to time, which led to many speed reads through the numerous lines of dialogue. The writing isn’t poorly done, but it is juvenile. You can tell that this story catered more toward fans of the shows that it pulled visual inspiration from, which admittedly let me down.

I did enjoy how Dodgeball Academia presented it’s story though. The narrative is portrayed in an episodic manner, with each chapter having its own plot while also carrying along the game’s main story. Each episode is only a couple of hours in length too, so being able to indulge in the dodgebally goodness in bite sized chunks was a breeze. There’s plenty of variety and creativity within these stories, which helps to prevent Dodgeball Academia from feeling too samey in it’s formula. I will say though that I do wish there was more time to breathe and explore between story beats. The game is fairly linear and doesn’t offer a huge variety of activities outside of some side quests and the occasional spot to grind some levels.

Speaking of levels, let’s take a moment to discuss the core gameplay here. I think Dodgeball Academia’s gameplay systems were my favorite thing about this experience (outside of taking in the visuals, of course). Once you spend a moment with the game, it’s easy to tell that Dodgeball Academia was built around the idea of being an homage to not just a PE class pastime, but to role-playing games as well. There are a plethora of systems here that are pulled from many classic RPGs which all come together to work in beautiful harmony. There’s your standard experience based leveling systems, items and gear to purchase, use and equip, enemies to run into if you’re looking to grind the day away, and more. To be honest, the core gameplay is a large reason why I nearly 100% completed Dodgeball Academia.

The game is also party based, with a large cast of characters that you can control through your journey. This helps with gameplay variety, by allowing you to access a plethora of differing playstyles. Granted they don’t differ in the way something like builds in Diablo do, but they still vary enough to offer the player a semblance of choice.

Everyone has super cool anime powers given to them by the power of a magical dodgeball as well, which further helps diversify the roster. For example, one character may harness the power of electricity which allows them to stun more opponents, while another may harness the power of fire, leading to many a crispy kiddo. I thoroughly enjoyed uncovering every character’s special power, from those that I played as, to those who you merely fight against on the court. It helped bring another level of personality to a game already bursting at the seams with charisma and allure.

Which I wish was the same for the music in Dodgeball Academia. Sadly, that’s not really the case based on my experience. While the game doesn’t have a particularly bad soundtrack, I can’t deny that it can get a bit grating on the ears after some time. In my opinion, the problem stems from a lack of variety in the music. Individually, these tracks almost all fit well with the overall look and feel of Dodgeball Academia. The issue lies within how often these tracks are used, and how rarely I was given a reprieve from them. The main hub of the game is accompanied by this tune where you have a guitar just going absolutely crazy in the background with it’s “wah-wahs” and “wee-woos”. I swear that song single-handedly led to me speeding through the game at a faster rate, which kinda saddened me. I was really looking forward to more variety in this one.

Look, Dodgeball Academia isn’t a perfect game. That’s completely fine, seeing as perfect video games don’t exist. But it is a well put together gaming experience that knows it’s influences and wears them proudly on it’s sleeve. There may not have been as much here to enjoy as initial impressions initially led me to believe, but not every game will fit every person. And again, I’ll reiterate this for the upteenth time: Dodgeball Academia isn’t a bad game. In fact, it’s a really good game. A really good game for a select few: younger gamers and sports fans mostly. 

Regardless of which demographic Dodgeball Academia best suits, I don’t at all regret my time with the game. It was a nice throwback to the days of old, where every day meant putting my life on the painted white line in gym class. Where my classmates and I became not only friends, but comrades in a war against enemies that threatened the composition of all of our faces. It was a time I will forever be nostalgic for, and at the end of the day, I think I actually owe it to Dodgeball Academia for reigniting my appreciation for those times. For that reason alone, I’d say that the game is well worth your time, even if it doesn’t end up being your next favorite game. 

Road 96 Review

(Road 96 is available now for Nintendo Switch and Windows)

Let’s face it: video games often pull from real life in order to fuel their narrative economy. Not only that, it’s also something that’s become increasingly common in newer releases. Maybe it’s because of my age, what with being in my mid-20’s now and constantly feeling like every action is one that could be judged politically. Maybe it’s thanks to our more-than-ever-before connected world where we’re able to share differing life experiences like never before.

Regardless of the underlying reason, I can freely admit that I find art imitating life in this scenario to be massively appealing. To see other’s interpretation of life events through the lens of an interactive work of art is something unique to gaming. There’s a sort of beauty to it all, and I think that’s why Road 96 appealed to me so much.

Get used to looking at that mountain. You’ll be seeing it often.

The premise in Road 96 is simple and to the point. You take on the role of a series of teens as they travel to the border of the oppressive, totalitarian country of Petria in an attempt to escape and find a better life elsewhere. What helps in diversifying this straightforward premise is an interesting cast of characters who you meet during your various attempts to flee the country. Building upon that further, Road 96 pushes forward an overarching narrative of an upcoming election waiting for the citizens of this oppressive regime. At first, the overall climactic event (or events) at the end of this roughly 8 hour adventure may not immediately seem apparent. However, it’s through the numerous encounters with the aforementioned cast of supporting characters that makes the entire story (and their roles in it) come together.

Now, there’s quite a noticeable (how should I say this) blemish on the entire story and how it’s given to the player to enjoy: that’s the visuals. This game has some of the most wildly inconsistent presentation I’ve been witness to in a while. I should mention that this game was made on a smaller budget and by an even smaller team of indie developers. It’s often not priority #1 of developers to make the highest quality looking game ever, which I understand.

I mean this in a purely critical sense and in an attempt to share my experience with you when I say this: this game often goes from great to not so great at a moment’s notice. So much so that I found it to be distracting at best and cringe inducing at worst. It’s unfortunate that so many emotional moments in Road 96 fall flat for this exact reason. On the flipside, if this is what a team can accomplish on a tight budget and as a first project, then my hope for future releases will remain bright.

At times, Road 96 looks great. Other times, not so much.

Unfortunately, the presentation’s inconsistency doesn’t stop at it’s visuals. Beyond hit or miss lip sync, stiff animation, and some goofy texture action, Road 96 is also guilty of sporting the occasional bout of poor voice acting. Thankfully, this isn’t something that stands out as much as the problems with the visuals do, but it was still distracting nonetheless.

Outside of the moments here or there with the visuals being less than stellar and voice lines being delivered in less than convincing ways, there is a tremendous amount of beauty to be found in Road 96. The environments and the variety of places you visit along your journey are beautiful mosaics of cell-shaded goopy oil painting goodness. The lighting used often helps these locations pop even further, and the fantastic use of Road 96’s soundtrack being weaved in and out at key moments helped bring it all together.

Speaking of the original soundtrack, it’s with great pleasure that I can tell you Road 96 has some fantastic music to help you feel all of the feels while trekking thousands of miles across the country. You’ve got all of the basics covered, from Jack Johnson-type acoustic upbeat jams to synthwave pop goodness that wouldn’t be out of place in the glove compartment of The Weeknd’s car. There is a great mix of music, with some of the songs quickly ending up on one of my playlists over on Spotify. If there’s anything that you explore more of before purchasing a ticket explore Road 96, it should be the music. It’s some genuinely good shit.

Country road, take me anywhere else but here.

Outside of gawking at the scenery presented to you along the variety of roads you’ll travel, Road 96 presents a unique hybridization of both the ever popular choose your own adventure genre of games (aka Telltale Games, Life is Strange) and the never know what you’re going to get randomness of roguelites (aka Hades, Rogue Legacy).

At the start of each attempt to cross the border, you’re presented with a few choices for a no name teen who you’ll play as. Once you decide on a character template, you’re whisked away on your journey. The trip often opens with you in a car or walking up upon a location where you run into one of the supporting characters. They’re generally dealing with some issue that calls upon you to help them resolve. Resolutions boil down to a minigame most of the time, which there’s thankfully a large variety of. In my time with Road 96, I never ran into a repeat minigame, which was a great thing to experience.

You’re also presented with numerous interactions that take place between you and Road 96’s cast of colorful characters. These conversations aren’t as deep or as impactful as I’d have liked them to be, but they were still great at carrying the story along. Thankfully there’s also a new game plus mode once you complete the story, so the option to go back and redo interactions in a different way while still maintaining all of the information you gained in a previous playthrough is available.

Stan and Mitch, Bank Robbers (in training).

Road 96 also mentions that it’s a procedurally generated adventure. That merit is technically true, but there’s been plenty of confusion surrounding it, so I’ll attempt to clarify. Road 96 is procedural in the way it presents it’s events, not so much when it comes to the game’s overall content. What I mean by this is that almost everyone will experience similar or even the same events during a playthrough of Road 96. The locations (at least from what I’ve seen) don’t generally vary much, either. What does vary however, is the order in which these events play out for each player. One player may start out in a truck with the charismatic John, while another person may start out roadside with the upbeat wizkid, Alex. In the end though, both players will more than likely still experience both events.

Personally, I don’t find much frustration in the fact that Road 96 isn’t as varied or procedurally generated as I initially thought it would be. This is due to the fact that the journey Road 96 asks you to take to reach it’s conclusion is one of intrigue. The characters (voice acting aside) are well written and interesting people, who I found enjoyment in learning more about. The numerous little minigames you play, from simple past times like portable Connect 4 to throwing bags full of money at a police officer in hot pursuit of you, are always fun to play. Then there’s that absolutely awesome soundtrack to help bring all of this together even further.

There are smaller enjoyments to be had here as well. I especially enjoyed seeing the world react to my choices, no matter how tiny the change may be. Finding varying ways to cross the boarder as my options became more and more limited was also a nice touch. Talking to citizens and asking for their opinions on hotly debated topics within the game world helped flesh Petria out as a lived in place. Being able to call the numbers on display on billboards, learning abilities that help you interact with things in ways you couldn’t before, etc etc.

Welcome to Hotel Petria. (Best not to stay too long.)

There is a copious amount of pure, unfiltered storytelling goodness to be had here. Further backing that storytelling is a wonderfully varied mix of gameplay in Road 96 that keep things from feeling stale, even after numerous escape attempts have gone by. These high points are occasionally marred by less than stellar presentation in both the visual and audio departments, but it was never enough to stop me from wanting to see what would happen next. There was always something new just around the corner, waiting to be discovered.

In that way, I think Road 96 is akin to many adventures people have taken where they get to driving and don’t even so much as glance at a map. Who knows? It may be a secret ingredient that all good road trips need. If it is, then I’d argue that Road 96 is a trip well worth taking.

Speed Limit Review

(Speed Limit: Arcade Edition is available for Playstation 4/5, Microsoft Windows, Nintendo Switch, and Xbox One/X/S)

–REVIEW KEY PROVIDED BY DEVS–

When I hear the words “Speed Limit”, it becomes very difficult to not want to drop everything at that exact moment, book it to the nearest sources of movies in my vicinity, and request an immediate showing of the 1994 box-office hit, “Speed”. One could potentially think then, using the combined powers of deduction and assumption, that I would thoroughly enjoy a fast-paced, high-octane indie game with an ever-shifting set of genres working alongside one another.

That’s what one could potentially think, right? What if I told you that that theory was instead quickly thrown out the window shortly after my first experience with Speed Limit? Here’s my review.

The opening moments of Speed Limit reminded me of the classic flash games of yesteryear. Where you’re given minimal context to anything at all, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights of a plot-free semi-truck barreling right at you. Upon start-up, we’re greeted by a scene of a train ride, with our main character just being a train passenger, passengering about. Moments later, some disheveled, shady as heck looking dude makes their way onto the frame… before keeling over dead. They drop a gun into your lap as they slowly become “aliven’t”, and now you’re the most wanted criminal to ever exist. Better get to running.

What follows is an hour long journey through a variety of different gameplay styles, accompanied by a constant climb in both speed and difficulty. While the game starts you off on foot, pushing you through train-car after train-car at an infuriatingly slow pace (seriously, this guy moves at a snail’s pace), the speed picks up considerably every few minutes. You’ll go from running around in the comfort of your Shoe-baru’s (ha ha) to driving a convertible, to piloting a helicopter, to manning a fighter jet, etc etc. It only keeps going from there.

Now, I’ll be honest with you: On paper, all of this stuff sounds really, really cool. I can’t think of anyone who would argue otherwise. (Maybe an old person, but they’re old so their opinions don’t matter.) Upon execution however, I think a few major missteps were taken, and the end result suffers greatly because of it.

Speed Limit‘s first short-coming became apparent almost immediately after start-up. The second after we’re shown the plot set-up and assume control of the protagonist, it becomes rather obvious that our character moves at an infuriatingly slow speed. Now, maybe this is simply a design choice. It could feel painfully slow as a way to further drive home that feeling of the metaphorical speedometer constantly climbing during one’s playthrough. Sadly, I don’t think it actually works all too well within the confines of the game.

If that wasn’t enough to get me feeling like this wasn’t a good start to the experience, Speed Limit‘s controls in it’s opening moments certainly did the trick. Testing the game on both keyboard/mouse and an Xbox One controller, I found the controls to be pretty hit or miss. I struggled to clear the first area simply because my character would begin to look up while I pressed right for him to go forward. This is an issue because having the character look upward slows him down to an even slower pace than he was already going, making you a near effortless target to take out.

That frustration is taken to an even higher level upon reaching the second phase of the first area. After a short period of running from train-car to train-car, we’re moved to the top of the train where we now have to contend with killer platforms (in addition to the enemies who were already shooting at us). Navigating this area was a nightmare, as the game repeatedly refused to take my inputs into account, smashing me into walls or causing an untimely make-out session with a barrage of bullets.

To top off this cake of conundrums, we have my final gripe with Speed Limit: it’s cameras. Some of the camera positioning in this game is… fine, even great at times. But that’s only sometimes. Outside of those moments, the camera is the worst thing about this game. Having to redo sections of a game due to control issues is something I can tolerate, to an extent. I cannot, however, tolerate a camera that’s been set-up to make me fail.

The first time this becomes apparent is during a chase scene across a waterway, with arches you have to fly through to avoid colliding and, you know, dying. The space you have to clear is pretty small, and you have to be nearly pixel perfect with your movements in order to avoid scraping the walls of the arches. I love pixel perfect movements in games, but only when I can see them. If I can’t see what I’m doing, and have to rely solely on assumptions and luck, that’s a bad thing in my opinion.

This isn’t the only time the camera is an issue either. A later section in the game asks you to control a fighter jet, which I thought would be freaking awesome! It wasn’t. It was nausea-inducing. It’s use of a tunnel-like rotating camera set-up brought upon immediate motion sickness. Bad enough to get me to “nope” the heck out of the game and look away from my monitor. That rarely ever happens.

I went back to revisit Speed Limit a few days after my initial experience, to see if these issues still persisted or if I was being a bit overly-critical in my analysis of the game. The issues still persisted, and they were even harder to overlook on my second playthrough. Maybe it was because I had tried the “normal” difficulty instead of “easy” like I did the first time, but my patience for Speed Limit‘s short-comings was practically non-existent. Which sucks because I love the premise of the game, and was really hoping to enjoy the experience. The pixel art graphics are full of character and charm. The soundtrack had me tapping my foot along to it the entire time. So…

One could potentially think then, using the combined powers of deduction and assumption, that as a fan of both arcade games and genre bending works of programming, I would recommend Speed Limit as a product. However, contrary to potential belief, this is one I cannot suggest based off of my personal experience. As much as it pains me to do this (as it always does), I’ll be giving Speed Limit a verdict of DEFINITELY NOT WORTH ANY PRICE.

KK Vibe (KK Bubblegum Remix)

You can also stream this song over on Youtube by clicking here.

“In celebration of Animal Crossing: New Horizon’s one year anniversary, I decided to remix the best song from the one and only KK Slider. I hope you enjoy this cute little bubblepop tune! Be sure to like and subscribe so you don’t miss out on future releases.” -SleepYYhead

Two Cent Video Review: Hob

(Hob is available is for PlayStation 4, Nintendo Switch, and Microsoft Windows.)

Oh boy, we’re back at it again with yet another 3D platformer. This week, we take a look at Hob. Why’re we taking a look at a game that came out in 2017? Because there has yet to be any interesting releases in 2018. But then again, it’s only the second week of the year, so I don’t really expect there to be much going on regarding game releases. Either way though, Hob was a fun game to play through and review, even if it did frustrate me more often than I would have liked. Is it worth full price? Here’s my Two Cents.

Two Cent Video Review: Hand of Fate 2

(Hand of Fate 2 is available for Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Windows, Mac, and Linux.)

Dungeons and Dragons. Magic the Gathering. Yugioh and his boi Dark Magician. What if all of these things were smooshed together into one game? What would that game look like? How would it fare? I set out to answer these questions today, as we take a look at Hand of Fate 2. This game is a mix of ideas pulled from various card, board and fighting games. But does it all work together, or is it all just a waste of time? Find out on this week’s episode of Two Cent Reviews.

Two Cent Video Review: Resident Evil 7 (Biohazard)

(Resident Evil 7: Biohazard is available on PS4, Xbox One, Switch, and Windows.)

While I was down in my basement looking for wires to connect my old timey radio to my modern day sound system, I stumbled upon this old review and thought it’d be nice to put it on display in the aarcadee arcade. So here it is. A look at one of the, in my opinion, best horror games of 2017. But though it may be good enough to contend for the title of best horror game of this year, is it good enough to buy at full price? Probably. Here’s my two cents.