Categories
Reviews

Two Cent Review: Quantum Conundrum DLC

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…

I’m not surprised by this in the slightest, but the gameplay in Quantum Conundrum’s DLC is somehow significantly worse than the base game… And that’s saying something.

Here’s my two cents on both of Quantum Conundrum’s DLC.

Desmond Debacle
The first stop on our double DLC date (aww, look at us. How cute.) is at The “Desmond Debacle”, a series of six levels. If you don’t know who Desmond is, he’s a drinking bird that you come across numerous times during the course of the base game. He’s often used to solve timing centric puzzles, all while looking adorable in a tophat in the process.

Based upon this description then, it’d be natural to assume that a DLC named after Desmond would, you know, feature the titular bird.

He appears in two out of the six levels.

That’s a third of the entire DLC.

I don’t know about you, but if I was Desmond, I’d be pretty pissed right about now. Not only is my name and likeness being used to entice sorry suckers to shell out mere pennies on a Steam sale for this nonsense, but I’m actively watching my reputation go down the drain as a result!

Seriously though, this roughly hour long level pack is rough. This was initially indicated by the actions you take in order to access the DLC. It involves the immersive and revolutionary act of selecting the first level from a menu, a timeless tactic.

After a short loading screen, you’re sort of just…dropped into the first level, with the game expecting you to figure the rest out on your own. There’s no narrative set-up, no banter from your insufferable uncle, nothing.

The first few levels in particular felt as if they had zero room for experimentation. I actually had no clue what to do for a solid 10-15 minutes as I stumbled about, riding one floating box to another, in an attempt to find a single clue that could point me in the right direction.

Alas, I inevitably gave up and resorted to an online guide in order to get past it. Suffice it to say, I would have never found the solution on my own. It felt way too specific for my little pea brain to ever figure out on my own. So shout out to you, internet person who I can’t remember the name of. You single handedly saved my sanity on this one.

The Desmond Debacle feels devoid of character. There is next to no personality within these few levels, save for a few appearances by the bird in the big black hat. Add to that the narrow-minded level design and environments that make the base game’s burst with personality in comparison, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for one rough DLC. 

Ike-Aramba!
Quantum Conundrum’s second DLC also happens to feature a recurring side character from the base game as well. Sporting a name that would make anyone over the age of existing cringe, IKE-aramba sees you solving another set of six puzzles. This time, it’s with the goal of saving a helpless IKE, who’s found himself frozen in a block of ice and kidnapped by robots. 

IKE-aramba is the better of the two DLC on offer here. Not only does it set itself up with an admittedly loose premise (which Desmond Debacle lacked), but it also features much more variety when it comes to its level selection.

The levels are extremely hit or miss, featuring both some of the best and worst levels in all of Quantum Conundrum. This is easily the biggest issue I had with the DLC, and with the level list being as short as it is, the chaotic difficulty curve becomes that much more noticeable.

Thankfully, the majority of IKE-aramba’s levels allow for significantly more experimentation than what the previous DLC did. Sadly it never quite reaches the levels of its inspiration (there’s that Portal 2 mentioned again…), but it does its darndest to shoot for that goal anyhow. 

IKE-aramba may have left me cursing at my monitor on more than one occasion, but I actually enjoyed the majority of my time with this DLC. Aside from one or two levels, I think IKE-aramba features some of Quantum Conundrum’s best level and puzzle design, making it the better of these two bits of downloadable content.

Verdict
At the end of the day, Quantum Conundrum’s DLC offerings are nothing more than additional levels for fans of the base game to sink their brain-teeth into. Unfortunately this means that if the base game didn’t do much in the way of satisfying your elite gamer needs, the DLC won’t do much to change your mind. There are some moments of genuine enjoyment here or there, but you’ve gotta be ready to trudge through some stinky bog juice to get to those points. 

That’s a venture I do not recommend. 

Advertisement